Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Canada decimates Seattle in order to destroy terrorist group

Intense bombing has destroyed most of the civilian infrastructure of Washington State in an effort by Canada to root out God's Party, a terrorist organization that they say has kidnapped two Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Hundreds of US civilians are dead and the civilian infrastructure of Washington has been utterly destroyed. Rockets have been flying from Washington over the border into British Comlumbia. Up to 20 Canadian civilians have been killed and some damage has been done to neighborhoods and train depots in Vancouver.

US officials and most of the United Nations have called for an immediate cease fire, but Canada says that a ceasefire is futile unless the terrorist group is out of operation. Meanwhile, civilian casualties continue to mount as Australia rushes shipments of guided munitions to Canada.

"We have to get the UK to get God's Party to stop doing this shit, and it's over," said Prime Minister Howard of Australia into a microphone he did not realize was open. He never indicated when shipments of bombs to Canada from his country would cease.

Although the Canadian government was initially very slow to evacuate its citizens from Washington, 5,000 of the 25,000 Canadian citizens there have now become departees as they lounge on cruise ships, sipping pina coladas and playing shuffleboard. Many US citizens remain in the area, depsite Canada's dropping leaflets telling them to get out.


Blogger Lazaro74 said...

This is great! You should totally keep this up. I usually shy away from politics since there are so many people out there who do this shit WAY better than I do. Like you, for example!!

7/29/2006 10:34 AM  
Blogger Lazaro74 said...

And by that I mean politics on the blog, not in real life. Sorry..

7/29/2006 10:35 AM  
Blogger beervolcano said...

Shucks, I'm flattered.

No, you should be the one to do the politics thing. Or maybe tie current events into historical context. At least you would know what you're talking about.

7/30/2006 3:24 PM  

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